Oh, what an esteemed poker club we’ve got here! Vanderpants with his designer card protectors, Wells Fargo treating chips like a financial institution, Chef somehow working kitchen metaphors into everything, Too High Bret... well, being Too High Bret, Fuzzy probably losing chips and his train of thought, Leroy bluffing like he’s in a spaghetti Western, Cowboy tipping his hat after every bet, and Cornchip? He’s just here for the snacks. Let me break down Follow the Bitch -No-Limit Seven Card Stud with Wild Queens and their Sidekicks- for this ragtag band of degenerates.

Ah, Fuck your neighbor, the game for people who think poker is too high-brow and would rather weaponize pettiness instead. And our version has a spicy twist? Think you're gonna screw someone by giving them an Ace?  Well, it's never what it seems.

Oh, so now you want to learn Five Card Draw? Great choice, because nothing screams "I'm bad at poker" quite like picking the easiest variant of the game. Don’t worry—I’ll dumb it down for you, champ. Let’s dive into the basics while I simultaneously roast the poor souls sitting at this table.